Certified intimacy, life, and relationship coach Elle Chase, featured in Mashable’s “How to Get Over a Crush” on 15th October 2025, explains why infatuation feels so consuming and offers practical ways to move forward. The allure of a crush, often intensified by social media, can lead to anxiety and fixation, but experts say it is possible to break free from unrequited feelings.
A crush is rooted in fantasy. “Someone once said ‘a crush is just a lack of information,’ and that’s the mantra I pass on to clients,” Chase told Mashable. “A crush can feel powerful because it’s all potential, and little reality. It’s built on curiosity and projection, not compatibility and facts.” She adds that learning more about a crush’s real values, habits, or approach to relationships often dissolves the illusion. This helps people recognise that much of the attraction is projection rather than genuine compatibility.
Social media amplifies this obsession. Platforms such as Instagram and Tinder can make moving on harder, says dating expert Ilana Dunn, host of the Seeing Other People podcast. “Every time you check their Instagram or reread an old text thread, your brain treats it like fresh contact,” Dunn explained. “That’s why it still feels so hard to move on even if you’re ‘not talking.’” This cycle can heighten anxiety, as constant notifications and updates keep the person at the forefront of your mind.
Experts recommend several practical strategies to help reduce fixation and anxiety:
- Write down the reality. Dunn advises listing factual details about the crush’s behaviour, such as consistency or effort. “Seeing it in black and white helps break the spell,” she said. Revisiting this list can counter moments of idealisation.
- Use social media tools. Blocking, muting, or unfollowing a crush can help. Dunn warns against creating alternative accounts to keep checking. “Mute, archive, block, or hide whatever you need to so your nervous system can finally take a breath,” she advised.
- Redirect your focus. Psychologist Dr Lori Beth Bisbey suggests shifting attention to activities that bring genuine joy, such as exercise, puzzles, or new television shows. “If they were your default shower thought or commuting distraction, you need a new fixation,” Dunn added.
- Allow time to grieve. Dunn notes, “A lot of heartbreak comes from losing what could have been, not what actually was.” She recommends allowing emotions to surface without rushing and leaning on friends for grounding support.
Research from the Mental Health Foundation in 2025 highlights that social media use correlates with higher anxiety, particularly among young adults navigating relationships. The constant access to a crush’s online presence can fuel obsessive thoughts, making it more difficult to move on. By applying these strategies, individuals can regain emotional control and focus on meaningful connections.
Getting over a crush takes time, but experts agree it is achievable even in the digital age. Chase, Dunn, and Bisbey emphasise using technology intentionally by muting notifications, curating feeds, and investing in personal growth. Dunn’s parting reflection captures the shift in mindset: “Do I actually want someone who made me question if they cared? Or do I want someone who makes me feel chosen without guessing?”
This perspective, they say, is key to forming relationships grounded in reality rather than fantasy.
